Thursday, October 5, 2017

Update. Some time last year or so, i was besieged by email folks to update my passwords. This led to me being shut out from them because I had forgotten the new words, and misplaced the paper on which they were recorded. Fortunately, it led to having shut out a great deal of strife. I do not have access to the e-zines that notified me of Christians persecuted around the world, or Muslim women and children who were in prison for being raped, or of any new atrocities of villages or churches being burned with bodies left out on the roads. Not that one forgets what he has already seen, but it was nice. It also led to missing a lot of voting mail. At the same time, when we had discontinued our home phone and replaced it with cells, we no longer received what is known as robocalls.

Although I had previously noted that my work on this blog had been dropped for quite a while, due to work on the subject in other venues, even that has come to an end. Well, a cease-fire. May I state that I have had a great deal of peace through this. I have also  nearly dropped checking Facebook. One doesn't feel compelled to respond to stupid or outrageous comments one doesn't read. It also enables one to interact with family whose opinions differ widely with his own views. Frankly, I have had a very peaceful year. More accurately, probably two or three. I rarely attend any of the writer's groups that were taking my time.

Our group finished going through three novels. I have introduced parts of my apologetic, but only a few pages. I have not dared to bring my devotional Bible studies nor my children's stories. I did take some of each to a couple of other meetings, but found that trying to splice in a few pages to the middle of a meeting with other people's efforts is nearly impossible. Without a complete view of a passage, or four or five pages, others cannot grasp the parameters of the work. So, yes, I will have to hire an editor or just get the stuff published. But right now, I am enjoying great freedom to keep my opinions to myself, and avoid strife.

At present I am occupied with taking care of my mother, an effort I share with one of my sisters. Then when I am at my own home, the necessities of what has been ignored, what needs to be done, or taking time to reconnect with my kids and grand-kids, or just enjoy my husband's company soaks up the rest of my time. With my mother, I sit for hours and read whatever I want: cookbooks, my Bible, books about prayer, or historical fiction. Sometimes I watch television but usually only after she goes to bed. (She doesn't like the noise, can't see well enough to tell what is happening, or hear to follow the words.)

Exploring subjects online, I probably could take time to post again, or keep up with emails. But it is freeing to detach from the world. Thought I would share that because these days, folks cannot function without looking at their phones all day. You truly do not need to know what everyone thinks about that picture of your dog, or to inform them what you cooked last night. You will have a lot more time for yourself, and to slow down, if you remember these things are mere tools. They should not control your life. I worry about kids these days, parents are only vaguely there, but with their heads down looking at their phones. (I noticed this a couple of times at the pool, where fortunately they have lifeguards who are watching.)

Not everyone has the luxury of taking care of an aging parent. You might think burden. No. She earned the attention raising several kids. Sometimes I feel like I am being self-indulgent, with an extended vacation. Yes, we could have sent her to a nursing home. I could stay home taking care of my own life. But every month, for two weeks at a time, I am shut away from those who would take up my time, who would make demands on me. I could not get away with sitting for hours to read and not be up doing something when I should be going somewhere, making something, etc. So, i have hours a day to cook, to read, to take a nap.

My mother sits and sleeps in her chair, and I give her my company. She wants something to drink, I get it for her. I put her up and down, change a diaper or two, and tell her repeatedly what time it is, what day, or whatever she inquires about. In exchange, we save the five thousand dollars a month we would have to pay for a nursing home. We have nurses and doctor's making home visits, which sadly the federal government pays for whether we need them or not. (I would prefer to call them when we needed something, and save on a lot of visits.)

And what else have I lost besides some time and sacrifice? Seventy-five pounds so far. Working on the Dr. Oz thing of two weeks on and two off for a diet. (It keeps one from plateau-ing, when your body thinks it is fasting and so won't burn calories.) And a lot of inches in my neck, arms, waist, legs, and just everywhere. After several months of weight loss, I had so many inches of drooping skin left hollow because fat was burnt up, that I had to start swimming and walking to tone up.

My sister and I had only one period of three hours where we could leave per week, but my mother had a relapse and they put her back on hospice. (They had kicked her off because she hadn't died quick enough.) Now we can get volunteer sitters to come in in addition to the one we pay, so I can exercise more. Not sure how much longer we have. My sister and I have been doing this for over two and a half years. But after my mother is gone, and I get my life back, then I will be free to pursue getting published. What does all this have to do with the Koran? Well, along with the fact that all my writing is about it, the Koran does give instruction that one should honor their mother. As does the Bible. That is one thing on which we agree.